Last night, Logan, Elliot, and I went to a new resident welcome party at Barley’s. The first year resident who is 33 weeks pregnant was there with her husband. We were talking about solid food and she asked, “When do you start them on solids?” I replied that we started him a little early than the recommended 4 months since he was grabbing at the food on the table. She asked, “How do you learn all of this stuff? We don’t know anything (about taking care of a baby)…” I replied, “You just sort of figure it out…” Later I realized what a stupid unhelpful answer that was. So, here in gory detail is how we “figured (and are still figuring) it out”…
1. Reading – I read the Mayo pregnancy book throughout my pregnancy. In January I borrowed an attachment parenting philosophy book from the library, read it, and liked it some of the ideas from it (the room sharing and baby slings particularly). I will say that the book gave me a false expectation in my ability to keep the baby from crying, which was very frustrating. My dad also referred me to a podcast on parenting from the author of the book Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, which was nice in that it kind of made the task of raising a child seem overall manageable and enjoyable with the right attitude. Now I refer to Baby 411 for parenting topics and read What to Expect as a month by month guide. The 411 guide was super helpful when we were having trouble with breast feeding at the end of the first week. It turns out I was “engorged” which of course was something I had never heard of at the time. Reading is useful, but it can also make you feel overwhelmed.
2. Googling – Nothing beats google for speed and amount of information, but all advice must be taken with a grain of salt. For example, when Elliot was so fussy, I googled “Baby choking during feeding” and I got a lot of hits for breast milk overproduction. Turns out, Elliot was having reflux, so I got sent down the wrong path. Also, most people on the internet are as clueless as you are, so make sure you are at a reputable reference site.
3. Friends and family with kids – Elliot was fussing and drooling and Gam Gam said, “Is he teething?” How should we know? People who have been through having children are often fantastic resources for things to try. But different things work for different kids. For example, my obstetrician (and literally everyone) highly recommended swaddling, which Elliot hated.
4. Pediatrician – Everytime we go to the doctor, I bring my list of questions. He figured out the GERD thing so he is my hero. But his suggestion for Elliot not taking the bottle was to try a sippy cup which never really worked for us.
5. Classes – We left the childbirth classes early. I think they gave me a false notion of how achievable and desirable it is to have “natural birth” (which is a whole post in itself). I think the infant safety and CPR class was the only really helpful class that we went to.
6. Lactation Consultants – We bothered these ladies as much as possible while we were in the hospital. They were great! The nurses would give us conflicting and sometimes inaccurate advice on how to get a latch and keep him feeding. The lactation consultants knew the facts and were able to set us straight on how to breastfeed.
7. Getting to know your baby – Every baby is a little bit different and taking the time to learn his or her patterns and preferences is truly the key. So, I guess in that respect you really do have to just “figure it out.”
In other news, this has been a super busy week for me. I got home on Tuesday at midnight, 9 on Wednesday and Thursday, and went in last night at 1:30AM for a trauma procedure. I’ve gotten a lot of great experience but it has been hard on the family. We are spending a lot of time together this weekend to make up for it. Tom hung our hammocks that Linzy got for us so we relaxed in them on Saturday afternoon.
